Shaking in my Espadrilles

I got my new computer yesterday! Hurray! In a comic twist, I posted about wanting my new computer available when I got home and then, when I opened the door, what was waiting for me but a new computer? Hurray!

In other news, today I was accepted to the New York Teaching Fellows! Hurray! THe program accepted 12% of its applicants this year, so I feel very special. I was chosen to teach Spanish, which could be problematic with the whole being unable to roll my rrrs thing. Hmmm.

It seems like a terrific program. I teach a regular shift, receiving a regular teacher's salary of about $43,000. Meanwhile, the program subsidizes Master's classes at Syracuse. Not bad. And yet, it requires me to live in scary NYC, far from everyone I know, to begin in mid-June, to take a lot of classes and is overall completely terrifying.

My other option? The completely unterrifying and somewhat comfortable Jesuit Volunteer Corps, where I would work in a minimally difficult job and focus on spirituality. It would be a nice little segue between college and the future, and if I could be absolutely certain that I would be accepted to the NYCTF the following year, I would take it in a heartbeat. But there's no guarantee of that, so I'm stuck in this position of recognizing that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime and feeling like either way I go will have a huge impact on what I do for the rest of my life.

I wish I had a guardian angel who would just tell me what to do. Wouldn't that be marvelous? What I have instead are a series of parents who are concerned primarily for my financial well-being, and a group of friends who don't really understand what it's like to be in this position (no offense). I guess what I need to decide is what I really want to get out of next year, and what I want to get out of my life. Do I want to teach? Do I want to live in New York?

Ooh boy, questions too big for my little head. ON the other hand, if I take the New YOrk opportunity, I don't have to really find a job for the summer. Hmmmm