Everyone's Allowed a Selfish Moment

And this is mine. So if you're looking for anything interesting, positive, whatever, don't look here. Oh, except for this! I've decided to make this into a book review blog. So I'm going to try very hard to make every other post a book review, starting with the next one that I post. But I will still write about my life, because apparently some people care about that.

So, with that all said, on with the self-indulgence!

Last night I had my farewell barbecue. It was nice, seeing a lot of my friends. Not all of them, of course, since some are in Seattle, or Arkansas, or Grand Rapids, or Africa, or, you know, MADRID. But it was cool. It was like a review of college, with a few people from work, a few from the dorms, a few from rugby, and then, of course, the necessary contingent from St. Mary's.

As Brian (P., who apparently has dubbed himself #2. . .No comment from me on that) pointed out, it was impossible to really feel sad, or cathartic. I can't imagine not being friends with some of those people. It's impossible to imagine a world where I can't walk down the street and see my friends, or go bother Al in her room with hyperactive speech, or wave at Mike as he comes by every day. Hee.

So I didn't feel sad, i just couldn't. ANd I tried, I really did, but it just doesn't work that way. It's the next stage in life, and i these relationships are really important enough, I'll maintain them. I mean, I'm still good friends with people from high school, and I only see them a few times every year. No, it's not the same, but it's just. . .different, not worse. And besides, this will happen to everyone next year. Ha. Look forward to it, punks!

And Alanna, I am fully capable of Top Ten Lists, as proven by my Top Ten Favorite Things only a few days ago. I just gave up on the Office one because. . .it wasn't really a top ten list, it was just covering all the characters I like. So nyah. But, to prove you wrong further, here is a top ten list of people I will miss next year, in no particular order. ANd I"ll probably forget someone who deserves to be in the top ten, so if you're forgotten. . .I am sorry. It doesn't mean you don't belong there.

1. Alison. (She's picked first because I can see her). Al has been my sounding board for many years. She has acquired an amazing skill at understanding what I say, even when the words are frighteningly mushed together, made up, or just not. . .real. . .sentences. . .I don't even know what I'm saying. SHe even manages to nod at hte right places and avoid a glazed over look. AMAZING!!! However, I know that AL and I will have at LEAST one more conversation in life: When the seventh Harry Potter book comes out and I call her to gloat over Ron's death.

2. Lydia. (She's picked second because yesterday I told her that I missed her). Lydia is one of my favorite all-time people. And she got me a card for my going away, that made me laugh and giggle. The CHihuahua said Adios. It was terrific. Also, Lydia manages to be the most optimistic pessimist that I know. Figure that one out, holla yeah. Also, Lyds always joined me on English major exclamations, and we could discuss random theory and semantics for many minutes. We enjoyed great geekdom together, along with a healthy fear of Ralph Williams' hands.

3. Brian P. (Picked third because we talked about not missing people last night. And, officially, from this point on I will no longer say WHY I chose the order I did). Brian, I didn't like when I first met him. And now I adore him. Bizarre? Perhaps. I will miss Brian because with nobody else could I go from silly jokes and laughter to an in-depth religious conversation. He understands the need for justice in the world, and one of the best listeners. And he looks really good with a beard. I don't have many friends that I can say that about, and I will be sorry to not see that beautiful black stubble on a weekly basis.

4. The East Quad Captain Staff. Perhaps I should divide them into individual people, but because I often see them as a unit, I do not feel like losing the space. I only really befriended them as more than mere coworkers this year, but I'm so glad that I did. They are amazing people, full of warmth, ambition, and ridiculous tolerances for alcohol. I couldn't have chosen better people to work with. Well, maybe I could have, but that would have taken time and effort, instead of just me falling in with terrif people.

5. Alanna. Alanna belongs in Slytherin. Sorry, I had to slam that up there right away, because, let's face it, she does. But that is not the reason I will miss her. I will miss ALanna because she is the only person in the world that I can have a serious argument with, and then still love her after it. No bad feelings. . .bitch bitch, yell, yell, hug, kiss, love. That's the best way to be with anyone, but usually people just get offended when I tell them they're wrong and stupid. Plus, ALanna was always up for anything. Now I will have to find another fearless psycopath to hang around with. Not as easy as it sounds.

6. Jen. I have chosen Jen to be my mini-me. I can laugh for hours with her, but then there's also a great depth to her, her dedication to social justice and her Christian attitude. My friendship with Jen will never end--I know this, because we are going to form a new order of nuns. I forget what they're called, but they will be amazing. And priests, not nuns, so I got that part wrong. Plus, she let me cut her hair. You know it's a true friendship when you're allowed to cut someone's hair.

7. Brian (#3? 4? I gave up on numbers so long ago!) Brian was one of my first friends here, and hopefully he will be one of the last (does that make sense? I don't even know). During the second part of the year especially we didn't get to hang out as much as I would have liked, but as we know, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Or absence does. Or something. Anyway, I will miss him, but I kind of already do, so I'm not sure that counts. Whatever.

Whew. Pause. THis is hard work! Only three more people. . .difficult. difficult. . .alright, stretch, stand, stretch. . .hey, am I allowed to put down Sawyer? Or John Krasinski? 'Cuz they won't be back for months. No? Bummer. Family?

8. My family. Yes, it's six people (and yes, I'm counting the dog) Bite me. It's crazy to think that after next week I might not see my brothers until Christmas. Will I come home for THanksgiving? Won't I? I just don't know. Regardless, there's not that guarantee anymore. Both of my parents are agreeing to travel (Mom's going to China to lecture about new therapy techniques and Dad's off to Afganistan. Again. I DON'T KNOW WHY, DON't ASK!!!) so I can't even just pop home and know they're there and will want to hang out with me. Sigh.

9. Andrew. Andrew makes me laugh. and he gives good hugs. And he lets me play Guitar Hero for many, many minutes (aka hours). One of the most good-natured people I know, it's hard to imagine a world without his smiling, laughing face. Though, I don't think I will regret missing the poking. No poking. . .good.

10. The boys/Gen. SHUT UP. I CAN'T DECIDE!! I'm already skipping half a dozen people. Anyway, JoeChrisMikevieve are among my favorite people on earth. I am not going to elucidate more, becuase I think I"m getting carpal tunnel. Can you get that with one post? I think so. I think I"ve got it. I still have JOe's shirt. Maybe I will sleep in it, and smell his essence (I will call it Eau du Joe) and then I will not be as lonesome.

PHEW. DONE. I probably forgot people. Whatever. I guess that I am really bad at Top Ten Lists. Oh well.

Coming soon: Review of Nicolas Hornby. I haven't decided whether I"ll do "Long Way Down" or "About a Boy" or "High Fidelity". Maybe I'll stick'em all together. How does that sound?

-J