Why I Must Find a Menial Paper-Shuffling Job

. . .at Dunder-Mifflin.

Well, it was a valiant effort to complete the first two seasons of The Office in one night, but alas, I fell short of the task. Nonetheless, in the joyous hours of a humid Michigan day, I have little doubt that I can accomplish the goal. So, because I apparently love lists, top ten reasons why everyone should watch the office.

1. Jim. Jim is adorable. Jim is cute. Jim is the kind of guy that you would have a blast on a date with, and still want to take home to your mom. And then you'd want to take him back to your home. Also, Jim is funny. Basically, Jim is perfect, even though his job sucks. Jim is a pleasure to watch. I heart Jim.

2. Phyllis. Phyllis is my second favorite character. Shy, sweet, matronly, and easily one of the funniest characters on the show, PHyllis can go from "Busiest Beaver" to "are you calling me a ho?" in four seconds flat. She plays basketball! She knits oven mitts! And she is married to Bob Vance, Vance Refridgeration. Phyllis rocks the house, and my life.

3. Homoerotic overtones in a show with a homosexual character. Yes, Michael G. Scott has an eerie man-crush on Ryan. And it's awkward, and I feel bad for Ryan (voted Hottest in the Office! Invited to come "clean off" Michael at all hours! THe man with whom Michael would definitely have sex!). This apparent gay-bashing is off-set by the presence of Oscar. . .an actual gay man, who is subdued, calm, and rocks the world.

4. Toby. I am coming to recognize that this is not a list so much of reasons to watch the showas it is a list of my favorite charactesr. Which, I suppose, is the primary reason TO watch the show. The characters are amazing, touching, eccentric, and adorable. Especially Toby. And Jim. And Dwight, strangely enough. And Pam. And Kevin. Not Creed, though. Never Creed.

So, for those of you who have never seen The Office, get your fat butts off--er, ON the couch and watch it! 'Tis fun, 'tis pleasant, 'tis a wonderful bonding experience not likely to be forgotten!

J